To be honest, I have stopped blogging a lot because once I view my own blog, I often click on the links to the left of my posts and start browsing through all my married friends and see updates on their life and updates with their cute kids... and then I start to wonder why I can't enjoy that same happiness. I then get down on myself picking apart every thing that is wrong with me to try and improve myself to be a woman who would make a wonderful wife and perfect mother... I nit pick to the point where I get really down and discouraged wondering when the right time will be for me... or wondering when, how, or where I'll meet my EC as we call it....
As I wallow in my self pity, I think to myself.... what do I really have to complain about?! I am living in a BEAUTIFUL home with my sister, I have an incredible job with great pay and benefits, I just lost 15 pounds, just got back from Disneyland, and then a week in paradise at Lake Powell, I am going home in a couple of weeks, I am getting ready to book a cruise in January, I have so many solid, great friends who help me improve every aspect of my life and mostly, I can do whatever I want to whenever I want to and not worry about anyone's schedule and then I realize that I am only 22. How many 22 year olds enjoy all the blessings that I have been able to enjoy? How many people at my age have been able to taste all the wonderful real-life experiences including a solid career as I do?! Is it possible that I am getting so caught up in the "ways of the world" so to speak, that I completely lose sight of what's most important in my life and the entirety of my existence on this Earth?!
I suppose this week at Lake Powell, I had more than enough time to sit and contemplate life and evaluate where I stand and where I need to improve. I was talking to my friend, Alex, and he said regarding a certain situation "I can either be mad about this and not learn anything from it, or I can figure out how I can improve my life to avoid this situation in the future". I have thought about that non stop as I thought he handles stressful situations MUCH better than I and realized if he feels like he needs to improve in those areas, I should consider improving in many, many areas. I then spent the day yesterday with a close friend who is going through a rough split/divorce and it really hit me... I can sit here and be upset with where life is at, or I can improve my life with every situation that comes my way to become who I want to be before involving another person... I thought about that a lot and though I get down from time to time, I cannot dwell on those things, instead I need to figure out how I can improve my life. How I can improve the lives of other and how I can use my time/money/talents to help those around me.... I'm not put on this Earth to dwell in mere existence, but to DO. Do whatever it takes to help and bring up those around me!
.... and there you have it...no blog in months, and now a weird/contemplative one that means nothing to anyone but to myself ha....
God is good, life is great..... I have absolutely nothing to complain about.
2 comments:
LOVE THIS!!! I definitely need to change my attitude about alot of things!! Oh, btw why am I not a part of your friends and family?.... Hmmm? Love ya!
love you jen. you are beautiful in and out!!! i had to wait 26 years for a nice boy and 28 for an emersyn....well worth it:) hugs to you.
Post a Comment